Respecting Avreichim Wives At Shas Yiden
By Rabbi Eliezer Sandler
The Loftiest of Goals…
Ever since he established the Shas Yiden Kollel Network 16 years ago, the Pozna Rov, Hagaon Harav Avrohom Halevi Eisen, shlit”a, has made sure that the Shas Yiden geonim are given the appropriate respect and recognition due to future gedolei Torah of Am Yisroel.
Their goal is to be an integral part of the legacy of the late Nasi of Shas Yiden, Sar Hatorah Maran Hagaon Hagadol Harav Chaim Kanievsky, zt”l. This includes, as per Reb Chaim, ידיעת כל הש”ס כולו בעל פה (to know the entire Shas by heart) with all the Rashis, all the Tosfos and Rishonim. To master the Yerushalmi, and many other major works and sifrei kodesh. To rise higher and higher in yedias Hatorah (Torah knowledge) and middos tovos in kedusha and tahara.
This aim is being earnestly pursued with incredible mesirus nefesh (self-sacrifice) by all 126 Shas Yiden geonim. They have developed into a learning model for yeshivos, kollelim, bochrim and avreichim throughout the Torah world.
“The Most Mehudar” said Sar Hatorah
‘Reb Chaim’ once remarked that the Shas Yiden geonim achieve the highest level of learning, which is not only to understand, but also to remember – and the Shas Yiden system is to know gantz Shas b’al peh. That is why, said Reb Chaim, to purchase a Yissachar-Zevulun shutfus to learn gantz Shas at Shas Yiden is the most mehudar pact available, because “Zei zeinen di emmesdika Shas Yiden”. (They are the true Shas Yiden)
But at what cost?
As with all endeavors in life, everything comes at a cost and one must believe that what one does is worth it. The mesirus nefesh to achieve these noble goals is considerable. For many families, because the father at Shas Yiden is committed to hours and hours of limud daily, including Fridays and Shabbos, Erev Yom Tov and Yom Tov, it requires a significant commitment. Thus, coping with all the housework, caring for the children and seeing to their homework etc., an enormous load falls on the shoulders of the wife and mother.
Eishes Chaver k’Chaver!
At Shas Yiden since its founding, the Pozna Rov has kept the concept of Eishes Chaver k’Chaver, namely that the spouse of a scholar or communal leader must be treated and honored with the same respect and care as is her husband. In fact, the gemora in Sotah (21a) states that one’s wife has a full and equal portion in all his learning!
The wife is the enabler of her husband’s ability and opportunity to sit and learn. With the significant and rigorous learning regimen at Shas Yiden, the demands on the eishes chayil are much greater than at other kollelim. As a result, at every annual Siyum Hashas, the wives are honored and acknowledged, and receive appropriate gifts and presentations. As well, the Pozna Rov has made sure that there is peace of mind in their homes by having the monthly kollel stipends fully paid by each Rosh Chodesh. In addition, there is a second full check for the months of Tishrei and Nissan to help with simchas yom tov. This payment schedule commitment has been met every month over the last 16 years. They can rest assured that the payment will arrive on time.
Feeling of security – One of the Shas Yiden geonim in Eretz Yisroel shared the following with the Pozna Rov: “It was just before Yom Tov when my wife spoke with her cousin, Raizy, a wife of a kollel yungerman in the mid-West. They were chatting and my wife asked her what she was getting for herself for yom tov. She told her that not only were finances tight, she was not sure when the check would arrive, and she had to make sure that they had with what to buy tzorchei Yom Tov first. When pushed, Raizy said that sometimes the checks could even be a few months behind, so she could certainly not plan on getting anything for yom tov… After that call, my wife could only say Boruch Hashem that Shas Yiden gives us peace of mind.”
A Shas Yid as a Husband and Father
The perennial question asked of a kollel couple is with 3 sedorim (study sessions) a day – each approximately 3-4 hours long: How does he function as a husband and a hands-on father. This question appears to be magnified when it comes to an avreich at Shas Yiden, which has an enormous 7 days-a-week learning workload (Sun-Thurs – 9 blatt-a-day with all the Rashis and Tosfos PLUS 4 revisions (i.e. 45 blatt!), and Fri-Shabbos – 4 blatt-a-day with all the Rashis and Tosfos PLUS 4 revisions (i.e. 20 blatt!).
Mindful that we are talking about bnei Aliyah, a couple that live on a Torah level with lofty aspirations, the key is the total trust and respect between the Shas Yid gaon and his Rebbetzin. Their mutual commitment to each other and to the incredible goal that they perceive ahead. Neither can afford to take the other for granted. For them, the Eishes Chayil at the Shabbos table is not just a nice weekly song with a nice tune. For them, particularly, Shlomo Hamelech’s words are incredibly meaningful and resound in their context.
Their children observe the mutual derech eretz and caring between their parents, and their reverence for the Torah that permeates their home. Boruch Hashem, it rubs off on their kids. All these attributes contribute deeply when life’s challenges come along. In addition, the Pozna Rov and the Rosh Kollel are ‘safety nets’ and are available to be listening ears.
The Rebbetzins Fly to Eretz Yisroel
With the advent of the recent Annual Farher & Siyumei Hashasim, the Pozna Rov flew the Shas Yiden geonim and their wives from the USA and UK to Eretz Yisroel to participate in the Simchas Limud Hatorah. This would enable the men to meet their colleagues and for their wives to meet and spend time with their counterparts. It would be an opportunity to discuss their challenges and to give chizuk to one another. Often, unless a kollel is in a limited location, the kollel wives do not have such opportunities at home. This is quite true at the Flatbush Shas Yiden where most of the Shas Yiden geonim live scattered in Boro Park and Williamsburg. On this occasion, it was most appropriate that they all met in the Holy Land. After all, they are part of a very select and unique group in Klal Yisroel.
Meeting their counterpart Rebbetzins was both exciting and emotional as they all come from so many locations and backgrounds. It was both significant and encouraging, and a strong bond of common goals developed very quickly between the different groups. They formed strong links in the Shas Yiden chain from Eretz Yisroel across the sea.
Flatbush Rebbetzins Attend Farher and see their Husbands Excel
Usually, the wives do not attend the farher and arrive for the Siyum and banquet. However, this year, the simcha was held in the city of Lod (near the airport) and there was a concern that the New York ladies, not being familiar with the local transportation and getting to the hall, may get confused and even miss the celebration. So, it was arranged for them to come in the same bus as their husbands, even though they would arrive at the venue two hours before the siyum.
However, it turned out to be fortunate, because they had the opportunity to watch their husbands and the other Shas Yiden geonim being put through their paces. They would get a first-hand view of their greatness and what being part of Shas Yiden is all about.
The first farher was conducted by Gaon Yisroel. Maran Hagaon Hagadol Harav Dov Lando, Rosh Yeshiva of Slabodka, and the second by Maran Hagaon Harav Eliezer Dovid Shapiro, Rav of the Sanz community in Bnei Brak.
“It was breathtaking and mind-boggling,” said one of the wives. There were rows of the Shas Yiden geonim, grouped according to their kollelim. Each had a microphone before him and faced the dais where the farherers were seated, flanked by the Pozna Rov and the Rosh Kollel.
It was incredible to watch the action as they responded, often many at the same time, quoting from all over Bavli, Yerushalmi, Rambam and Shulchan Aruch. One lady described it as “akin to a real estate auction with people shouting out their bids at the same time. Except here it was all ‘bids’ of Torah, but with the same passion and vigor.
“Then there was the going back and forth between questioner and defender, with all understanding the questions and the different approaches. It was almost indescribable.”
When Rav Shapiro questioned them, there was a look of astonishment on his face as he witnessed the prowess of the Shas Yiden geonim. Periodically, he jumped up from his seat, knocking on the table and saying: ‘This is incredible… It is simply amazing… Pilei plo’im… This is not simple…”
During the farher, the Flatbush contingent really stood out. This newest branch of Shas Yiden proved to be worthy talmidei chachomim geonim, along with those from London and Eretz Yisroel.
When the Shas Yiden blessed the Negidim
During the conclusion of the Siyumim, it was impressive to look at the dais and watch the reaction of the philanthropists when the Shas Yiden geonim came up to them and gave each a special brocha in recognition of their support of the Shas Yiden learning, and which should continue to be a source of blessing for them. “You are true sustainers of the Torah and learning at Shas Yiden. Our brocha is that you should be able to continue supporting all the charities and learning that you do, in good health and spirit.”
Reactions of the USA Rebbetzins
Touched by the Gifts – “I was so touched by the regard for the wives and families of the Shas Yiden geonim. The full bags of nosh in the shape of Sifrei Torah to take home to each of our children. The personal letter for each of us from the Pozna Rov, as well as an envelope with a substantial cash gift that was presented to each of us by the Pozna Rebbetzin. Apparently, this recognition of the wives has been done every year since the first siyum 16 years ago.”
Holiness of the Occasion – “I felt the palpable holiness of the occasion. To feel and see the regard for Torah and what it means, and to behold the Gedolei Torah on the dais was a privilege. It was an evening where people from all walks of life, openly and warmly, celebrated Hashem and His Torah. It was a special celebration never to be forgotten, and an amazing zechus to be there.”
Prior to this Visit to Eretz Yisroel – “Before this trip, I knew that my husband was learning at Shas Yiden and that, although a young man, he is already a significant talmid chochom. However, on this visit I saw what Shas Yiden is, what it means, and the great zechus to be part of it all. I believe that my whole outlook regarding his learning and being part of Shas Yiden shifted and has impacted my life’s viewpoint.
“For example, we live in a relatively small home and really need a bigger place, and have been looking for one. Obviously, we are very dependent on his income. However, his time at Shas Yiden in Flatbush has advanced his commitment to study in kedusha, tahara and devotion. He increased his study load and his focus as compared to the kollel where he had studied before. It is as if Hashem has given him a gift on a plate, and if he has the will to grow and advance, he will take it along with him for self-encouragement and strength.”
Meeting the Wives from London, EY and New York – “While it was great to meet them all, I must admit that it was easier to communicate with the ladies from London as we also speak Yiddish and English, and are not as fluent in Hebrew. What was interesting is that most of the wives from New York didn’t really know one another before. So, this was an opportunity to meet, greet and to get together, and to understand and share challenges and approaches to what our husbands are doing. It made a great difference to how our ‘team feeling’ developed. We had a common language and common interests.
“All the Shas Yiden wives there are special ladies and their husbands are not just ‘sitting and learning’. Rather, they are all masters of Shas and, as the Gedolei Yisroel have emphasized, they are bnei aliyah steeped in middos tovos.”
Met with Parents – “I met the parents of many of the avreichim and their wives – some came from the USA and UK – and it was inspiring to see their pride regarding the learning of their sons / sons-in-law. I asked one of them if any of their daughter’s siblings were jealous of their sister and that her husband is one of these Shas Yiden geonim. She answered that there was “only a feeling of pride among them.” Then she added: “My daughter is incredible. There is no word of complaint, even though she would love to have her husband help her with the children and the home. But the value of what the husbands of these women are accomplishing is something just beyond our normal understanding and appreciation.”
A Mother – “One of the mothers said to me that her daughter recently had her birthday. On that day, her husband came home and said I have a birthday present for you. So she wondered, would it be a brooch? Would it be a bracelet? What could it be? On the other hand, I see how engrossed and devoted he is in learning and gives his heart for Torah.
“So, then he told her, I am giving you a Siyum of a masechta and dedicating it in your honor! He brought home all the food and refreshments needed, together with a minyan for the siyum. It was a great simcha and as for my daughter, she said this was the ultimate gift – one of Torah.